Why did the Chicken cross the road? –Messianic Jewish Purim Version

Arnold Fruchtenbaum – The crossing of the road by the chicken is a direct fulfillment of Messianic prophecy, as discussed in the rabbinic tractate Darkei Ha’Of (העוף דרכי) and in my book “Chickenology: The Missing Link in Systematic Gastronomy”. The chicken is on the way to gather her chicks under her wings and present them as offerings in the millennial temple. We read in Matthew 23:37 “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, that killed the prophets, and stoned them that are sent unto her! how often would I have gathered your children together, even as a hen gathers her chickens under her wings, and ye would not! Behold, your house is left unto you desolate. For I say unto you, Ye shall not see me henceforth, till ye shall say, Blessed is he that comes in the name of the Lord.” Only when the millennial temple has been built can the chicken and her chicks be offered again as sacrifices, and the chicken crosses the road to present herself as offering.

Baruch Maoz – The chicken’s crossing is a useful and interesting illustration of the relationship between predestination and freewill in the sovereign purposes of God. The chicken exercises its freewill, previously bound in sin, to cross the road. But when by faith it reaches the other side, it realizes that it had no choice to do otherwise, being specially chosen and elect before the foundation of the world to cross that particular road at that particular time. To ask “why?” is to fail to appreciate the mysteries of divine providence and election, but is all we mere mortals are capable of.

Bob Dylan – How many roads must a chicken cross
Before he knows he’s a bird?

Daniel Juster – We are seeing the restoration of chickenhood as one of the apostolic ministries of the Body of Messiah. This is a fulfillment of biblical prophecy, according to a historic premillennial interpretation. Despite the chicken’s enemies opposing its return to and settlement in the other side of the road, the prophetic program for the chicken in exile is its return both physically and spiritually to its ancestral home.

Darryl Bock – Like the recent choice between two equally problematic presidential candidates, the chicken faces a real dilemma, whichever side of the road he chooses. The choice he has before him is no real option. It is like choosing between facing a tornado rolling through his chicken coop or a hurricane. Both will do real damage in different ways. The chicken should be prepared for that, to face it with grace not an eye for an eye. The chicken must show its values are distinct from the way others behave. The chicken is called to be different.

David Brickner – The chicken exists to make the “road less crossed” an unavoidable issue for all chickens everywhere. There’s no other way to get to the other side except through the cross of the road. Download our free booklet “One Chicken for the Road” at www.chickensforroad.org.

David Rudolph – My passion as a professor and rabbi is to encourage chickens by introducing them to scholarship and other resources that help them along in their walk across the road. According to a recent Flew survey, 34% of chickens say crossing the road is compatible with being a chicken. Whilst most chickens cross the road on the thirteenth of Adar, chickens in rural areas observe the fourteenth of the month of Adar as a day for crossing the road.

Lisa Loden – The two sides of the road are locked in long-term, intractable and violent conflict. The chicken must step beyond the confines of its own side, cross the road and learn the other side’s narrative. Only then can the chicken build a bridging narrative across the road in a way that includes justice, peace and reconciliation for all chickens , whichever side of the road they inhabit.

Mark Kinzer – The chicken is permitted under the dietary standards proposed by the Messianic Jewish Ornithological Institute, but has to be suitably ‘crossed over’ by a certified rabbinic authority. We follow the Conservative guidelines on cross-over chickens, and see this crossing not as a replacement of one side of the road by the other, as both sides of the road as necessary for a bi-lateral chicken community.

Melissa Moskowitz – The chicken tastes much better when it has crossed the road – here is my Yiddish Mama’s recipe for chicken schnitzel.

2 skinless, boneless chicken breasts, halved and beaten flat (four pieces)
½ cup flour
2 beaten eggs
½ cup Panko crumbs
Pinch cayenne powder
¼ cup chopped fresh parsley
Salt, pepper to taste
Oil for frying
1 whole lemon cut into four wedges.

Directions

Put flour in a shallow bowl, and put eggs in shallow bowl and beat. Mix bread crumbs and spices in a third bowl. Dip chicken in flour, shake off extra. Dip in eggs and then in crumbs and spices. Heat oil in large heavy skillet over medium heat. Fry chicken on both sides for 1-2 minutes until golden brown. Serve with lemon wedges for garnish. Sprinkle with chopped parsley.

Monique Brumbach – Each of us has many roads to cross, and this one particular crossing for this particular bird marks a historic moment for the Union of Messianic Jewish Chickens as it breaks the egg and a new breed of chicken crosses over to the side of the road it has not been permitted access to previously.

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About richardsh

Messianic Jewish teacher in UK
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4 Responses to Why did the Chicken cross the road? –Messianic Jewish Purim Version

  1. evgoldsmith says:

    Amusing! Perhaps the lesson is that we all communicate our particular emphases by twisting the traditional picture. Martin

    Like

  2. Love this game! Here’s one:

    Stuart Dauermann – For more than two centuries, countless people have been asking the question “Why did the chicken cross the road?” But has anyone stopped to ask: “Is this joke good news for the chicken?” Shockingly, in 1949, the World Council of Chickens released a statement that all chickens who do not cross the road can never make it to the Other Side. What do statements like this communicate to chickens on This Side of the Crossing, when the clear implication is that their future generations of eggs can only look forward to a Kentucky Fried future? I submit to you that until we apprehend the contours of the Divine Plan, both sides of the road will travel in parallel, only to be ultimately united at the eschatological horizon.

    Like

  3. duanemiller says:

    This is hilarious! Thanks so much.

    Like

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